Wednesday, 20 May 2009

to find meaning in one's life may end in madness.
but life without meaning
is the restlessness of vague desire

it is a boat longing for the sea
and yet afraid.

i can't remember exactly how it went... or where it's from. it comes into my head every once in a while, today again... (it was my yearbook quote in my final year of school in Pakistan).

i still have no idea what the meaning is. why i'm doing what i'm doing. or even what i'm doing...
i wonder if i ever will.


the crazy thing is that i can sit here and wonder what the point of my life is, while for example approximately two million refugees from Swat are trying to simply survive not far from where i was born and grew up, and don't have the luxury of wondering whether it's meaningful or not. women who have spent their whole lives within the confines of their courtyards who now have to try to take care of their children in crowded refugee camps with not enough water - let alone things like food, toilets, privacy... (it could have been me; we don't choose the circumstances we're born into.) two million people whose whole existence has been completely turned upside down and destroyed - that's almost a quarter of Sweden's population.

and here i am, in Sweden...

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